The world is like a box full of unfairness. It starts from the environment we are born into; we do not control the place and socioeconomic status we are from so it may be an unfair beginning. Parents, school, classmates, workplace, bosses, neighbors – the list goes on and on. Even skills, which we all develop through the same amount of time and effort devoted to that skill, can still vary greatly among individuals because of opportunities or lack of opportunities at one’s disposal.Some people acquire skills easily while others do not. In the workplace, one colleague may have a supportive boss and team, while another may have a boss who harasses them and uncooperative colleagues. Countless variables impact our progress in life and can influence our attitude.
In our communities, we may be extremely lucky to have a warm and caring family living just next door. Or on the other hand, we may be desperately unlucky and have unruly children and inattentive parents as neighbors, meaning we can endlessly have to endure the noise and disturbances caused by them. These inequalities can have a significant impact on our lives. However, these unfortunate occurrences or events are often beyond our control.
Even though we can’t change these unfair circumstances, we will often still struggle with how to manage them in our lives which can be stressful and frustrating – we desire the situation to change and feel out of control. But there is a deeper level underneath our dissatisfaction that we can work on controlling – it is our sense of comparison. We compare ourselves to others and feel envious of those who have better circumstances. We may think, “I wish I had a boss like Mr. A has,” “I wish I was the one who got transferred,” or “Why does my friend get to marry such a wonderful man with a high social status?” We can make the list go on, and we can quickly find ourselves in a whirlwind of dissatisfaction and whining over how unfair life is to us.
However, unfairness does not always lead to unhappiness. Meaning, unfairness isn’t equal to unhappiness.
Remember to focus on the things which you already have in your life and need to be grateful for. You also may have things that others would consider unfair and they are dying to be in your place. Try to find something positive in every situation, even if it seems unfair at first glance. By making this a daily practice, you may discover that there is something valuable to gain from living in an unfair world, and you may realize how much you have to be grateful for in your life.