During our younger years, whether junior high school, high school or university, we may have gained friends at any of these stages during our student life. Of course, some people stay and some people come and go. As time goes by, our circle of friends may change depending on a variety of different reasons.
Everyone may have experienced a time when we had a chance to reunite with friends even after graduation, such as class reunions. At first, we may get hyped up about sharing nostalgic stories. But gradually, the topics are changed into “What do you do now”, “What’s your status?” or “What is your dream in the future?” Under this topic, some people may start to feel the gap among their old friends and think, “We don’t speak the same language anymore” or “We are no longer on the same page.” In worst case scenario you may feel an air of competitiveness in the room which may drive old friends to become contrary. You find yourself in a conversation that is not uplifting but a way to measure your success.
To be specific, your old class mates were once the closest people to you. You would share laughs and talk about your future ambitions with no malice or bad intention but with excitement and most likely naivety. Now if we come back to the present day these same class mates may not shine so brightly and the discussions may not feel so sincere.
I think it is natural, and part of our personal growth. Change is inevitable. We will change or transform ourselves, whether positively or negatively, we may change our perspectives and may go our separate ways after graduation. Our lives vary, from being a bachelor/ bachelorette, to having a family. Some live the life they have always dreamed of, and some don’t. Some live a life of bliss, while others struggle.
So, if we feel like we already live in a different world and don’t see eye to eye anymore, then maybe it’s about time to graduate from each other and not cling on to the old student life that makes us feel nostalgic.
People have different journeys and different pacing in life. Maybe you mature faster than they do, or have developed a broader perspective than them. You should accept that you have different levels of growth and maturity. You don’t need to change or adjust yourself to level with your old friends, especially to lower your level for the sake of “nostalgia” and old friendships.
Through conversations with your old friends, if you feel like you are inferior to them in terms of work, annual income, life status, and hobbies, to name a few, it’s time for you to self-reflect and change. Never feel jealous or envious with what they have. These emotions will distract you and disrupt your growth compounding the inferiority complex that would surely grow within you. The key is to just become humble and contented.
So, with that being said, “graduation from your old friend” must be a good thing and should be a part of your personal development. Soon enough, you’ll eventually meet someone who is at par with your current level, and get along with them. You’ll meet people who will be an important part of the current chapter in your life.