“Trauma” can be defined as a response to a highly distressing or disturbing event which overwhelms a person’s ability to cope, causes feelings of hopelessness, and diminishes their sense of self.
Trauma can be caused by so many factors, such as human interaction, natural disasters, or any stressful events. Such distressing events may be in a form of domestic violence, rape, sudden loss of a loved one, unforeseen accidents or other natural disasters.
I’m not in the depth or suffering from irreversible and serious traumas. But, I have experiences with other forms of trauma and I may be able to extend help to those who are struggling with unpleasant memories. Heartbreak, rejection, mistakes, loss, etc. can push one on the verge of slipping into an agonizing zone.
For example, some people might have lingering traumatic feelings towards men whom they dated in the past, even if it happened a very long time ago. Some may have committed grave mistakes at work resulting in humiliation and questioning your own self-worth. Or, some have experienced deception from someone they trusted and now need plenty of time to heal from it.
A lot of people might say that “time will help you” or “you’ll get through this in time”. But I don’t think so. “Time” is not God, nor does it offer any solutions on how to become open our hearts again. We need guidance on how to open the doors to run far away from the trauma.
There are as many methods on how to get over these traumatic experiences as there are people in the world. One example is this – no matter how bad a heartbroken experience was or how stupid and shameful a work mistake was, if one can find humor in the situation, it can help them heal. Retell it as a funny story, share it with a light mood instead of crying. If it’s something you can laugh about with friends then the traumatic feelings start to diminish.
Listen, I’m writing something important. I think the following thoughts applies to all aspects of our life. Whether it is your private or professional life, someone must have extended a helping hand to you at some point during your lowest points. It definitely happened to you, as it has myself. Even though you still have a lingering traumatic memory, you must have had someone who was able to positively influence you mentally during your moments of grief. This influencer may have been a partner, a friend, a mentor, a family member, or even a pet.
There must be something you can learn from even the most hopeless and traumatic incidences which could prevent you from falling deeper into mental despair. Those helpers deserve to be appreciated!
Whenever a tragic or deeply distracting past even comes to mind, whether it happened just recently or decades ago, don’t forget to appreciate those people that helped you. No matter how big or small it is, allow yourself to feel appreciation for them. Even if you don’t meet them anymore, just sitting in thankfulness for them will bring a positive impact to your life. Making this a habit will positively affect your mental health, and keep your heart warm. It will gradually turn your perspectives around into something more positive and let you move forward little by little.
What’s important is not how to forget the dreadful past, because “to forget what we really want to forget” is very difficult, instead how to appreciate someone who has brought upon a good effect on your mind as well as physically. This is already helpful increasing your luck and your odds to success.
If you can, please overwrite your stressful traumatic memories with happy and wonderful ones, rather than struggling to forget the past. Then, you can become a better version of yourself, which eventually leads to greater happiness and life satisfaction.
Photo: Your favorite place can make you happy, too!