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🌺I Really Hate the Past-Me

2022.09.09

Whenever I think about the past, I feel like I really hate the past-me a lot. Every time I reminisce on my past decisions and actions, it shakes me to the core and makes me feel suffocated and nauseous. I’m very ashamed of some of these past actions. The past-me was too selfish, stupid and immature. I’m glad I’ve grown enough to self-reflect and change.

 

I’m definitely not the only one who has these thoughts and regrets.

 

There are some people, like me, who hate the past version of themselves.

Some people may consider their past and think, “Why did I fall for this conman?” or “Why did I choose such a hopeless guy?”

Others might regret their past decisions and suffer the consequences, such as, gambling debts.

 

The more we grow and mature, the more we regret and can deem ourselves unforgivable.

These are very tough and stressful feelings to work through and might drive many of us to depression.

 

But let us look at the bright side and figure out how to handle our regrets in a more healthy manner. There must be a reason why our brains don’t allow us to simply forgive and forget the past-us.

There must be something for us to hold onto along with the feelings of regret and self-blame.

 

Our brains are very smart and organized. If unnecessary information takes up space in our mind, our brains tend to delete them from our memories and we forget. So, with this premise, if we have thoughts that continues bothering us and we’re never able to forget, it just means that our brains regard them as necessary thoughts and experiences. We need to keep remembering these things for us to grow mentally and to help us avoid making the same mistakes.

 

Our brain then tells if we regret those past choices and learned from the experience, then the feelings of regret are a manifestation of how much we’ve grown as a person. The more we live nobly, the more we can walk past the mistakes we’ve made and the more we can forget and move forward with our lives.

 

It is important to remember that we are not alone. Everyone in this world has some form of regrets from the past. A monk once said, “Our past is just a memory.” Meaning: the past is different from the now.

 

However, everyone reacts and and views our past-selves and past mistakes differently. Some people can’t accept the past versions of others or forgive their choice. These people may continue blaming you for the past and making you feel miserable. I think it is best to remove yourself from the company of such toxic people and sever that relationship so you can heal from the past. Likewise, we should be forgiving of others past as long as the person sincerely regrets it and changed to the better. 

Every cloud has a silver lining in life. Bad experiences and mistakes can lead you to change and experience a wonderful life.