There are different types of desires among humans, such as appetite, sex, cupidity, the urge/ lust to dominate, etc.
Here are some examples,
1. Gluttony： I’m on a diet but I can’t stop eating so much food.
2. Lust： I know he has a girlfriend, but I can’t help seeing him to satisfy my sexual desires.
3. Hunger for money（＝cupidity)： I don’t have any money, but I can’t stop gambling.
As for myself, when I was in my 30s, I already had many clothes, but I couldn’t help but stop buying them to the point where I even drew money from my savings.
Normally, these strong desires above feel out of our control. Once we do it, later we might spend a great deal of time to find any excuse in order to justify our actions, that’s why, it’s really difficult to stop ourselves.
It is said that when our desires such as gambling, sex, food, etc., overwhelm us, it means that we have an adrenaline rush. So, in order to control our emotions and desires, “taking deep breaths” would be one effective way to calm ourselves down.
But…this is not the key to stop these endless desires, is it? Because, the real reason why people overdo these things is…“what they really really want” is different from these desires: it is NOT drinking alcohol, or buying fashionable dresses, or having a love affair…whatever. The root causes are said to be related to “mental health issues”, meaning mental illnesses and mental disorders are hidden in these excessive addictions…
Relating to my past problem – binge-shopping, at that time I had faced an enormous stressful relationship in my office…and after solving it, I gradually reduced my shopping. Now, I don’t need to shop so often!
I know, it’s not easy to solve uncontrolled problems we have faced, but we should know that “satisfying our addicted desires such as gambling, unfaithfulness or hopeless romantic relationships, overeating, binge drinking, unnecessary shopping, etc. never ever help to solve the underlying deep routed issues that we may face mentally.
Photo: How much alcohol you drink, you can’t solve what you face…