Some people tend to worry too much and ponder too long causing themselves more complications.
For example, there was a single mother who raised her child alone. She contemplated on her problems quiet often. Her worries and stress sounded something like this: “I spent my dire old days with a toxic mother who abused me. When I got pregnant by accident, my boyfriend didn’t marry me nor recognize my child as his son and left me. To support my son, I worked long days in a work environment that was terrible for my health so I had to quit. Now, I work pat-time but the pay is low and not enough to pay my bills. So here I am, my son and I have to leave our apartment in a few months because I just can not keep paying the rent. There is no one I can ask for help. What can I do?”
Reading the situation above, you might feel incredibly sorry for her. It must be a dire situation. But, her thoughts are very messy, so she needs to organize them.
She was mumbling about her dreadful past as well as her current troubles. Her past experiences are not related to the current problem any more. So, she has to separate her past from the current problems. Now, the issue she has to handle is that she needs to find a new place to live. Focusing on the current issue instead of dwelling on the past will make her problems smaller and seem less daunting. That’s it. In Japan, we have a system in place to support single parents. So, one step she can take now is to go to city council to apply for assistance.
Generally speaking, terrible past events, unacceptable experiences, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from the past are not associated with current events. So normally there might just be one problem to worry about and not several which we have to ruminate about. When we cut off past worries, we can better focus on today’s troubles and the solution will be easier to find.
Emotions from bad experiences easily disturb our mindsets and thinking.
Photo: It’s difficult to retrieve a kite stuck in a tree…